Category: Profiles & Conversation

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There is no correct number of days to chat online before meeting. The useful question is whether the conversation has done enough to justify a short, safe meeting in the real world.

Some people know within a few exchanges that they would like to meet. Others need more time. Problems usually arise at the extremes: meeting before basic comfort exists, or building a whole imagined relationship through messages.

Messaging has a limited job

Before meeting, messaging can establish basic interest, reveal obvious incompatibilities, and make practical arrangements. It can also show whether the other person communicates respectfully.

It cannot tell you how conversation feels face to face, whether attraction develops, or how comfortable you are sharing physical space.

That is why weeks of excellent messaging do not guarantee an excellent date. Online rapport is useful information, but it is still incomplete information.

There is no magic three-day or two-week rule

Fixed rules ignore how people actually communicate. Ten thoughtful messages over three days may tell you more than a month of occasional “how was your day?” exchanges.

Look at the quality of the interaction rather than the calendar. Do you know enough to feel comfortable meeting in a public place? Are both people contributing? Has the conversation moved beyond generic greetings?

Do not rush because someone says chemistry can only be tested in person

It is true that meeting provides information messaging cannot. That does not give another person the right to pressure you into meeting before you are comfortable.

The Online Dating and Discovery Association advises daters to take time, stay in control and avoid being pressured into sharing information or doing something they do not want to do.

Someone who reacts badly to a reasonable request for more time is giving you useful information before you have invested an evening.

Do not let messaging become a substitute for dating

The opposite problem is an online conversation that becomes emotionally significant without ever moving towards a meeting. Daily messages can create familiarity very quickly.

ODDA’s scam guidance reminds users that until you meet, you are still communicating with someone you have never met in person.

That matters even when there is no fraud. People can sincerely present themselves online and still feel different in person.

A sensible point to suggest meeting

Consider suggesting a meeting when the conversation has three things: mutual participation, enough basic information to feel comfortable, and a genuine reason to want another conversation.

You do not need to know their life story. You should know enough that the meeting is not effectively with a complete stranger whose only known quality is a profile photo.

A simple invitation can be direct: “I’m enjoying this. Would you like to continue it over coffee sometime this week?”

If you want a little more reassurance first

A short phone or video call can be useful when distance is significant, schedules are difficult or you simply want another layer of contact before meeting.

Treat it as optional information, not an audition. A person who dislikes video calls is not automatically suspicious, and a convincing video call is not proof that every claim someone makes is true.

Keep personal information gradual

You can arrange a date without giving someone your home address, workplace, regular route or detailed family schedule. Share what is necessary and let trust grow through repeated behaviour.

If you met through a dating service, staying on its messaging system initially can preserve access to blocking and reporting tools. ODDA specifically recommends using built-in messaging at first.

Make the first meeting easy to leave

The best bridge from online chat to real life is usually a short public meeting. Choose a staffed place, arrange your own transport and tell someone where you are going.

Our online dating safety guide covers that preparation in more detail, while our first date ideas are designed around low-pressure ways to talk.

If the other person keeps postponing

One postponement can mean almost anything. Repeated postponements without a realistic alternative can mean the online conversation is not moving towards the kind of relationship you want.

You do not have to keep investing because the messages are pleasant. You can say that you would prefer to meet rather than continue indefinitely online.

I’ve enjoyed talking, but I’m looking to meet in person rather than build a long online chat. If you want to arrange something, let me know.

If you are the person who keeps postponing

Ask what is stopping you. It may be a genuine safety concern, a busy week, nerves, or a feeling that you like the attention more than the idea of meeting.

If nerves are the main issue, our first date nerves guide may help you reduce the size of the event rather than postponing it repeatedly.

A simple rule that works better than counting days

• Chat long enough to establish mutual interest and basic comfort.
• Do not share private information simply to make the conversation feel more intimate.
• Do not let anyone pressure you to meet before you are comfortable.
• Do not assume a long messaging history creates the same knowledge as meeting.
• When you are ready, make the first meeting short, public and easy to leave.

Distance and practical constraints can justify more chatting

If meeting requires a long journey, paid travel or complicated childcare, spending a little longer on messages or a call can be sensible. The cost of an unsuitable meeting is higher.

That still does not require building months of intimacy online. Use the extra contact to check practical compatibility and comfort, then decide whether a real meeting is worth the effort.

The right time to meet is not a number on a calendar. It is the point where online conversation has created enough reason to meet, without becoming a replacement for meeting.

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The message after a first date does not need to be clever. Its job is usually one of three things: say you enjoyed yourself, make your interest clear, or close the door kindly.

What makes this stage awkward is uncertainty. People start wondering whether texting too soon looks keen, whether they should wait for the other person, or whether a perfectly ordinary message needs a strategy.

If you liked them, say so

A clear message is usually easier to respond to than a performance of indifference. You can mention one specific part of the date and say you would like to meet again.

I had a really good time tonight. I’m still laughing about the museum audio guide. I’d like to see you again if you’re up for it.

That is warm without demanding an immediate answer. It also sounds like a message to one person rather than a line that could have been sent after any date.

You do not need to wait three days

There is no useful rule that says interest becomes more attractive when it is hidden for a fixed period. If you want to say thank you when you get home, do that.

The timing matters less than the tone. A short message that leaves room for the other person is easier than a stream of messages asking whether they felt the same.

If they text first and you liked them

You do not need to mirror their wording or delay your reply to create balance. Answer the message you actually received.

Me too. I’m glad we chose somewhere we could actually talk. I’d definitely be up for another one.

If they suggest a second date and you want one, you can move straight into arranging it. The interaction does not become less romantic because somebody is practical.

If you are interested but genuinely unsure

Not every good first date produces instant certainty. You may have enjoyed their company without knowing whether there is romantic potential.

If you would happily spend another hour with them, a second date can be a reasonable way to find out more.

Thanks for tonight. I enjoyed talking to you and I’d be happy to meet again.

Do not add exaggerated enthusiasm simply because you think that is required. A straightforward message is kinder than creating expectations you do not yet feel.

If you do not want a second date

You do not need a detailed critique. Unless there is a safety reason not to reply, a short, unambiguous message is usually the cleanest ending.

Thanks for meeting yesterday. I enjoyed talking to you, but I didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for. I wanted to be clear rather than leave you guessing. I wish you well.

Avoid adding “maybe another time” if you do not mean it. Softening a rejection until it sounds like a postponed invitation creates more uncertainty.

You do not have to explain chemistry

People sometimes ask what they did wrong after a rejection. You are not required to produce a performance review of a first date.

If there was one practical incompatibility you are comfortable naming, you can do so. Otherwise, “I didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for” is enough.

If the date made you uncomfortable

Politeness does not require continued contact with someone who ignored boundaries, frightened you or behaved aggressively. You can stop responding, block them, or use a platform’s reporting tools where appropriate.

Our online dating safety guide covers reporting and first-meeting safety in more detail.

If they have not replied

One unanswered message is not a puzzle that needs several follow-ups. People can be busy, undecided or simply not interested.

If you sent a clear message and received nothing, you can leave it there. A second brief message may be reasonable if there was a practical question, but repeated chasing rarely creates clarity.

If you want to suggest the second date yourself

Specific is better than ceremonial. You do not need to ask whether they would perhaps theoretically like to see you at some unspecified future point.

I’d like to see you again. You mentioned the photography exhibition at the weekend. Fancy going on Sunday afternoon?

A suggestion gives the other person something real to respond to. They can say yes, offer another time, or decline.

Our second date ideas guide has options that allow a little more time together without turning date two into a major event.

Do not try to solve the whole relationship by text

A first-date follow-up is not the moment to define the relationship, demand certainty or analyse every pause in the evening. It is simply the bridge to whatever happens next.

If both people are interested, clarity can grow through another meeting. If one person is not, a respectful message can end things without unnecessary ambiguity.

Five useful templates

• You liked them: “I really enjoyed tonight. I’d like to see you again.”
• You want to suggest something: “I had a great time. Fancy that market we talked about next Saturday?”
• You are open but unsure: “Thanks for tonight. I enjoyed talking to you and I’d be happy to meet again.”
• You are not interested: “Thanks for meeting. I didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for, but I wanted to be clear.”
• You need space: “Thanks for tonight. I’m going to leave it there, but I wish you well.”

Match clarity, not message length

If the other person sends a long warm message, you do not need to produce an equally long reply. Respond to what matters and make your own level of interest clear.

Likewise, a short reply is not automatically a sign of rejection. Look at whether they answer your question, suggest another meeting or continue the conversation rather than counting words.

The best post-date text is rarely the most impressive one. It is the one that tells the truth kindly and gives the other person a clear next step.

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An online dating first message does not need to be dazzling. It needs to give the other person a reason to recognise that you have read their profile and an easy way to answer.

A useful starting point is one detail, one genuine reaction and one question. Keep it short enough to feel like an introduction rather than a task. You are opening a door, not delivering your entire dating history.

The examples here are fictional and written to illustrate different approaches. They are not tested scripts or promises of a reply. Use the structure when it fits, and leave out anything you would not naturally say.

The three-part introduction

Imagine someone mentions that they are learning to make bread. You could write: “I saw you’re learning to bake bread. My last loaf could have doubled as a doorstop. What has been your best attempt so far?”

The detail explains why you chose to message them. The small admission gives them something about you. The question is straightforward, without demanding expertise or a deeply personal answer.

You do not have to use all three parts every time. “Your favourite rainy-day plan sounds excellent. Which museum would you choose?” is enough when the profile gives you a clear starting point.

Twelve first-message examples to adapt

1. An interest you genuinely share

Profile detail: they like independent bookshops.

Message: “Your bookshop-and-coffee idea is very much my kind of afternoon. What was your last good discovery?”

You are not claiming to have read everything they have. Shared curiosity is enough. If you do know a book they mention, ask about their response to it rather than testing whether they understood it correctly.

2. An interest you know little about

Profile detail: they enjoy birdwatching.

Message: “I know almost nothing about birds, but your enthusiasm came across. What first got you interested?”

Being interested is different from pretending to be an expert. This lets someone explain their own connection to a subject. Avoid asking them to organise your complete introduction to the hobby before you have exchanged a hello.

3. Something they are learning

Profile detail: they have started a pottery course.

Message: “How is the pottery going? I like the idea of making something useful, though I suspect my first mug would have a very individual shape.”

The humour is aimed at your imagined attempt, not their work. That is a more comfortable starting point than teasing a stranger about whether they are any good.

4. A food preference

Profile detail: they enjoy cooking for friends.

Message: “You mentioned cooking for friends. What is your reliable dinner when you want to enjoy the evening rather than spend it watching the oven?”

This invites a small story instead of a one-word favourite food. You could add your own reliable dish, but the first message does not need a recipe or an invitation to either person’s home.

5. A local date idea

Profile detail: they would choose a gallery and coffee.

Message: “A gallery followed by coffee sounds good to me. Do you pick somewhere for the exhibition, or for the café afterwards?”

The question is playful without assuming that a date has already been agreed. Keep any early invitation to a busy public place, not a secluded walk or a lift in your car.

6. Music without a compatibility exam

Profile detail: they like going to gigs.

Message: “What was the last gig that stayed with you afterwards? Mine was memorable partly because I lost my voice before the encore.”

Use an honest personal detail, or omit it. There is no need to demand their five favourite albums and decide whether their taste passes. The aim is a conversation, not an entrance examination.

7. A clear opinion

Profile detail: they say breakfast is the best meal of the day.

Message: “I’m with you on breakfast being underrated. On a free morning, are you cooking or heading out somewhere?”

This picks up the idea without announcing that you are perfect together. An agreeable opening is not evidence that you already know the person.

8. Keep the first message simple

Profile detail: they want to learn another language.

Message: “What made you choose Italian? I always enjoy hearing whether it started with a trip, a person or a very good meal.”

Only name Italian if that is what the profile says. The specificity should come from their words, not from an internet search into their private life.

9. A quiet weekend preference

Profile detail: they prefer a few friends to big parties.

Message: “Your ideal weekend sounded refreshingly manageable. What would make the Sunday part especially good?”

There is no need to turn being quiet into a diagnosis or label. Ask about the preference they volunteered and let them decide how much to explain.

10. A bit of their own humour

Profile detail: they always read museum information boards.

Message: “I laughed at the information-board confession. Are you also the person who insists on reading the second side?”

Here the humour refers to something they have already presented playfully. That is different from sending a joke about their age, body, accent or presumed personality.

11. A profile with little detail

Message: “Hello. What is something you have enjoyed doing recently, outside work?”

This is less tailored, but it is still easier to answer than a request to “tell me everything”. Do not pretend you spotted a shared interest when the profile did not provide one. You can also choose not to message a profile that gives you little to go on.

12. An uncomplicated hello

Message: “Hi. I liked the way you wrote about making time for friends. What does a good weekend with them usually look like?”

A warm, ordinary message can be enough. Do not reject a sentence that sounds like you just because it lacks a clever twist.

What to leave out of a first message

Avoid sexual remarks, comments on someone’s body, pet names that imply existing intimacy and questions about where they live alone. A stranger does not owe you personal information to demonstrate that they are serious.

“Prove you can hold a conversation” turns an introduction into a challenge. “You probably won’t reply” asks them to manage your disappointment before they know you. Remove both approaches rather than softening them with an emoji.

Do not send a block of identical messages and insert a different first name. A reusable structure is fine; a statement about a shared interest must actually fit the recipient.

How long should the first message be?

As an editorial starting point, try two or three short sentences. That is a practical suggestion, not a scientifically established optimum. You can say something meaningful without making the other person scroll through a letter.

One answerable question is usually easier to engage with than five. Compare “What are you reading?” with a list about books, work, siblings, holidays and relationship goals. The second requires the recipient to choose which task to complete first.

What if they do not reply?

Do not assume a lack of response reveals something about your worth, or that you know the reason. They may not be interested, may not be active or may simply not wish to continue. You cannot settle that by sending increasingly insistent messages.

For a first introduction, our recommendation is to leave the invitation there rather than chase repeatedly. Respect an explicit decline or a block. A different platform, email address or social account is not an acceptable route around that boundary.

What changes when they answer?

Respond to what they actually said. Share something relevant about yourself, then follow the interesting part rather than switching immediately to another prepared question. If the exchange remains entirely one-sided, notice that instead of increasing the pressure.

That is the beginning of an ongoing conversation, a different job from the first message. The first-date questions guide is for an eventual meeting, not a checklist to send all at once online.

Keep the introduction inside sensible boundaries

An engaging reply is not proof of identity or trustworthiness. Keep addresses, financial details and identifying information about children private. Be cautious about pressure to send money, share intimate images or move quickly into secrecy.

Leicestershire Police advises caution with online contacts and requests for money. Taking time to decide whether you want to continue is reasonable, even when a conversation feels unusually easy.

How this relates to NoPhoto

NoPhoto’s planned Ping is an introduction based on what someone writes, with a conversation opening only when the Ping is accepted. NoPhoto is not yet open for registration. The same writing principles apply across platforms.

The same writing principle applies across platforms: notice something real, offer a little of yourself and make responding optional. For help giving people something to respond to on your own profile, see our dating profile examples. When you both decide to meet, start with a public, manageable first-date plan.

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Dating profile examples are most useful when they help you recognise your own voice, not borrow somebody else’s personality. You do not need an extraordinary life, a polished sales pitch or a joke in every sentence.

Aim to give someone three things: a glimpse of everyday life with you, a sense of what matters to you, and something easy to ask about. A few specific details can do that better than a long list of flattering adjectives.

The examples below are fictional teaching examples, not real NoPhoto members or profiles tested for response rates. Adapt the approach, not the invented interests.

A simple structure for a dating profile

Try three short parts: something you enjoy, a detail that makes it yours, and an opening for conversation. You can add what you want from dating when the platform gives you space for it.

For example: “I like cooking” tells us a category. “I’m trying to make a decent Sunday roast without every pan finishing at a different time” gives someone a scene to respond to.

You do not have to be witty. “I like early swims, an unhurried breakfast and an afternoon with a book” is specific enough to help another person imagine your pace.

A 2022 study of dating-profile texts linked perceived originality with favourable impressions, including humour and intelligence. It assessed impressions and dating intentions, not whether particular biographies created successful relationships. Treat specificity as a writing tool, not a formula for attraction.

Eight dating profile examples, with explanations

1. Warm and straightforward

Example: “A good Saturday starts with coffee and ends with something I’ve cooked for friends. In between, I’m usually browsing a market or pretending I only went into the bookshop for one thing. Looking for a relationship with someone kind and curious. What have you read lately that you keep recommending?”

This combines ordinary activities with a clear intention. The question gives a reader an opening, but the answer does not require an impressive literary opinion. Replace books with something you actually enjoy rather than keeping the line because it sounds appealing.

2. Short, but not empty

Example: “Amateur baker, enthusiastic museum visitor, very average bowler. I’m happier with a proper conversation than a packed schedule. Tell me about a small thing that made your week better.”

A short profile can still have texture. Three recognisable interests are enough here, followed by a preference and an easy invitation. There is no need to add “ask me anything” or apologise for being bad at writing profiles.

3. Playful without performing

Example: “I will stop to read the information board. Even the second information board. I like local history, train journeys and cafés where you can hear each other. What tiny subject could you happily explain for ten minutes?”

The humour comes from an actual habit rather than a borrowed one-liner. It also shows what spending time together might feel like. The right reader can respond with their own enthusiasm, whether that is architecture, sourdough or television theme tunes.

4. Sociable, with room to slow down

Example: “I enjoy a gig or a meal with friends, but I’m just as happy with a quiet evening and a film we can disagree about afterwards. Currently learning to cook something beyond my reliable five dinners. Looking for a partner, not a permanent entertainment programme.”

This avoids forcing a choice between “outgoing” and “a homebody”. People can enjoy both. The final line states a preference without insulting anyone who likes going out more often.

5. Dating as a parent

Example: “I’m a parent, so a little planning helps, but I make room for the people I care about. I like board games, good food and finding a new place for lunch. Hoping to meet someone for a relationship that grows at a comfortable pace.”

The profile acknowledges a practical part of life without disclosing a child’s name, school or routine. It also leaves room for your interests. Parenting can matter to compatibility without becoming the entire biography.

6. Starting again after a long relationship

Example: “New to dating again, not new to knowing what I enjoy. That includes swimming, live music and a conversation that wanders somewhere unexpected. I’d like a relationship eventually, with time to get to know each other first. What have you tried recently that surprised you?”

You can be honest about starting again without telling the full story of a previous relationship. “Eventually” here describes pace, not a promise. Change it if you know that a serious relationship is not what you want.

7. Outdoorsy without proposing an isolated first meeting

Example: “I’m usually happiest outdoors and keep finding reasons to buy another map. I also appreciate a warm café and a reliable cake selection. Keen to meet someone curious about the world. For a first date, coffee somewhere central sounds good to me.”

An interest in walking does not commit anyone to meeting a stranger on a remote path. This profile makes the distinction explicit. The café suggestion also gives a reader something practical to respond to.

8. Reserved, but interested

Example: “I’m not usually the loudest person in a room, but get me talking about music or an interesting question and I have plenty to say. I enjoy making things, visiting exhibitions and meals with a few good friends. Looking for someone who enjoys a two-way conversation.”

You do not need to apologise for a quieter personality or claim to be more outgoing. This description communicates interests and the kind of connection you want without labelling everyone else as superficial.

Turn vague claims into details

Instead of “I love travelling”, try “I like arriving by train and finding somewhere for breakfast before making a plan”. Instead of “I have a great sense of humour”, describe the harmless thing that recently made you laugh.

“I’m adventurous” could become “I’ve signed up for a beginner pottery course and expect my first bowl to lean”. That only works if it is true. An invented hobby gives you another thing to maintain when somebody asks about it.

Details do not have to be activities. You might value being dependable, making time for friends or not needing to fill every silence. Explain what that looks like rather than giving yourself a five-star personality review.

Say what you want without making a list of demands

It is reasonable to say that you are looking for a relationship, prefer a slower pace or do not want children. Clear information can help people decide whether their intentions fit yours.

The tone makes a difference. “I’d like a relationship with someone who makes time for us” explains a wish. “Don’t waste my time, no drama, no timewasters” tells readers much less about you.

There is no obligation to appeal to everybody. Equally, a profile is not the place to catalogue every frustration you have had with dating. Keep genuine boundaries, remove the running commentary about other people’s failings.

Keep identifying details out of a public profile

Leave out your home address, workplace address, regular shift times and precise weekly routines. You can say you enjoy badminton without naming the venue and the exact evening you are always there.

Avoid posting children’s identifying information or information that belongs to somebody else. Take another look at combinations of clues: an unusual job title, tiny village and employer name can reveal more together than separately.

Leicestershire Police’s online-safety guidance cautions against sharing sensitive details and assuming an online contact is who they claim to be. A profile that feels convincing is not identity verification.

Check the profile aloud before saving it

Read it as though you were introducing yourself over coffee. Would you use those words? Is there a sentence you only included because a dating article told you to sound impressive?

Ask a trusted friend two questions: “Does this sound like me?” and “What would you ask me about after reading it?” Those are more useful than asking whether they think everyone will find it attractive.

Cut repeated information. If age, broad location and relationship intentions already have their own fields, the biography can add something different. Do not remove an important intention merely because the platform’s labels do not express it well.

Frequently asked questions

How long should a dating profile be?

Use enough space to include a few specific details and your intention, without filling every available character. Three compact paragraphs or a handful of thoughtful prompt answers can be plenty. The platform’s format matters more than a universal word count.

Should I use AI to write my dating profile?

It can help shorten a draft or spot vague wording, but you should supply the facts and approve every sentence. Do not upload private conversations or other people’s details unnecessarily. The finished version should sound like you, not a marketing department.

Do these examples work without profile photographs?

They give someone useful information to respond to without describing appearance. That fits NoPhoto’s planned photo-free approach, but it does not guarantee a reply or attraction. Honesty and reciprocal interest still matter.

What should I do after the profile is ready?

Choose something on another person’s profile that genuinely interests you. Our first-message guide explains how to turn that detail into an introduction. For the meeting itself, use our separate first-date questions guide.

NoPhoto is being developed around profiles and conversations without member photos or later image reveals. Registration is not yet open. Read about the NoPhoto approach.

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Questions to ask on a first date should help a conversation unfold, not make the other person feel as though they are being interviewed. The best questions are easy to answer, invite a story and give you something to respond to.

You do not need a memorised list. Pick one or two ideas that fit the moment, listen properly to the answer, and let the conversation go somewhere unexpected.

What makes a good first date question?

A useful first date question is open enough to reveal something, but not so personal that it demands instant intimacy. “What do you enjoy doing when you have a completely free day?” usually gives you more to work with than “What are your hobbies?”

Research on structured self-disclosure has found that gradually more personal, reciprocal questions can increase reported closeness between strangers in an experimental setting. That does not mean a set of questions can manufacture chemistry. It does support a simpler point: conversation works better when both people share and both people listen. Aron and colleagues’ original study is the research behind the well-known “36 questions” idea.

Later research also found that taking turns to disclose produced more liking and enjoyment than one person doing most of the sharing. Again, the lesson is not to turn a date into an experiment. It is to make the conversation two-way. The reciprocity study is published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

10 easy first date questions to get started

1. What has been the best part of your week so far? Easy, current and more revealing than “How was your week?”
2. What do you like doing when you have a completely free day? A natural route into interests, routines and how someone actually spends their time.
3. What is somewhere you never get bored of visiting? It can lead to travel, local places, childhood memories or favourite walks.
4. What is the last thing that made you properly laugh? A good way to find out what someone finds funny without asking them to define their sense of humour.
5. Are you more of a plan-everything person or a see-what-happens person? Light enough for a first date, but surprisingly useful.
6. What food could you happily eat every week? Much easier than asking for a favourite restaurant and often leads to stories.
7. What are you looking forward to at the moment? Gives you a glimpse of what matters in their near future.
8. What is one thing you have always wanted to learn? Opens up ambitions without making the conversation feel like a job interview.
9. What makes a really good weekend for you? Useful, practical and easy to answer honestly.
10. What is something small that reliably improves your day? A gentle question that often reveals personality better than grand ambitions do.

10 questions that invite a story

11. What is the best trip you have ever taken?
12. What is a place that surprised you?
13. What is the funniest thing that has happened to you recently?
14. What was your first job like?
15. What is a hobby or interest you got into unexpectedly?
16. What is the best live event you have been to?
17. What is the nicest spontaneous thing you have ever done?
18. What is a childhood tradition you still like?
19. What is something you used to dislike but now enjoy?
20. What is the most useful thing someone has taught you?

Story questions are useful because they give the other person room to choose how much detail to share. They also give you obvious follow-up questions without needing to jump straight to another topic.

10 questions about personality and values

21. What do you value most in a friendship?
22. What does a good work-life balance look like to you?
23. What kind of people do you find easiest to be around?
24. What is something you are proud of that people would not guess?
25. Are you someone who needs lots of social time, or plenty of time alone?
26. What makes you feel at home somewhere?
27. What is something you have changed your mind about as you have got older?
28. What quality do you appreciate most in other people?
29. What helps you switch off after a stressful day?
30. What does a really good relationship look like to you?

The last few are more personal. Use them only when the conversation has naturally moved in that direction. A question can be reasonable and still be wrong for the moment.

10 fun first date questions

31. If you could instantly become good at one skill, what would it be?
32. What is your most controversial harmless opinion?
33. Which film or TV programme can you rewatch endlessly?
34. What is the best thing you have ever bought for less than £20?
35. If you had to live in one UK city for a year, where would you choose?
36. What is your ideal lazy Sunday?
37. What is a completely ordinary thing you are strangely enthusiastic about?
38. Which song will always get you onto a dance floor?
39. What is your strongest pub-quiz category?
40. If we had two hours free right now and could go anywhere nearby, what would you suggest?

Questions to avoid on a first date

There are few absolute rules, but some questions create unnecessary pressure early on. Detailed questions about income, debt, fertility, medical history, previous partners or why someone is still single can feel intrusive when trust has barely started.

There is also a difference between asking what someone wants from dating and demanding a five-year relationship plan before the drinks arrive. You can discuss important things without treating the date as a screening process.

How to ask questions without making the date feel like an interview

The simplest rule is: answer your own question too. If you ask where someone loves travelling, share your own answer after they have responded. That creates an exchange rather than a questionnaire.

Follow interesting threads. If someone mentions that they started learning Italian because of a trip to Bologna, you probably do not need to move straight to your next prepared question. Ask what they liked about Bologna.

Silence is not a failure either. A few seconds to think can be more comfortable than filling every pause with another question.

A good first date conversation is not about asking the perfect question

The point is to make it easier for two people to discover whether they enjoy talking to each other. A thoughtful question can open the door, but the interesting part is what happens after the answer.

If you are still deciding what to do while you talk, see our 35 first date ideas. NoPhoto is built around the same principle: conversation comes before appearance, with completely photo-free profiles. See how NoPhoto works.